The other side

OK, perhaps that last bit was unnecessarily pessimistic.

AC-S has already pointed out that although he is going far away to Australia to have fun without me, I also get to go far away to England to have fun without him. Not for as long, but in theory I don't have to work at all while I'm there, whereas his trip is for business.

Likewise, the fact that I have double grading this week is directly related to the fact that I had no grading at all last weekend (because of the same mistake I mentioned before).

I've been [re]reading Orson Scott Card's Leah and Rachel. I like the "Women of Genesis" books quite a lot; they do a good job (in my opinion) of charting the characters' struggle to be good people in spite of their instincts. The characters tend to be simple, honest, and open to the point of being a little childish, but they still seem real -- at least to me, because I'm often childish in a less pleasant way, and to be like these people would likely be a step up for me. Not everyone will like the Women of Genesis books, of course; to some, they may seem preachy. But they suit me, at least. I'm planning to reread The Red Tent next, because it's another of my favorite retellings of this same story.

Leah, in Card's vision, is rather like me: nearsighted and cranky. Last night, I copied out a passage that it might serve me well to remember:

Leah's first thought was to say, No, you hate me and I don't have to associate with people who hate me.

Then she thought, I don't have to be angry. And in just the moment it took her to think of it, the first hot spark of anger faded.

"I'm not angry now," Leah said, a little surprised.

"Thank you," said Bilhah. "Let me serve you."

Of course, Bilhah is already Leah's handmaid (although she is not precisely a servant). Certainly I don't expect all my friends to start waiting on me because I'm not horrible to them! But that's not really the point. It would do me good to remember that pouncing on that first spark of anger will make everyone, including me, more cheerful, and then we'll also be more willing to help each other be happy.