Hoping.

Double-posting again, like yesterday...

I learned at Phantom Scribbler that the Red Cross is not being allowed into New Orleans (details on their webpage).

On the surface, this shocks and angers me. The Red Cross seems to be taking it pretty serenely, though -- they point out that "The Red Cross does not conduct search and rescue operations. We are an organization of civilian volunteers and cannot get relief aid into any location until the local authorities say it is safe and provide us with security and access." I hope that they are being given an honest appraisal of the situation. I don't hope, at all, that it's still so dangerous in New Orleans that the Red Cross can't be allowed in; still, given that they're not allowed in, I hope that this, or some other real reason, is the explanation.

Whether or not they're allowed into the city, the Red Cross is still doing a lot of good elsewhere by giving food and shelter to those who have escaped New Orleans. Donate elsewhere if you choose, but please don't let this bewildering situation sour you on giving aid in some way, however you can.

Opportunities

I'm feeling nostalgic and sad tonight about some past opportunities that I chose not to take. Maybe it was foolish to choose that way, and maybe I was doing the best I could at the time, conserving precious energy, or triaging the feelings of those I loved. Maybe it went both ways. But I'm sad thinking about the things I didn't experience -- dance lessons from a gift certificate given by an ex-boyfriend, a few more days in England last spring, half a dozen smaller thing.

This, therefore, is a reminder to myself to think harder about taking opportunities in the future. I still won't take every one. I'm human, and I do need to keep my sanity in order to go on finding more opportunities. But I want to be, again, as I sometimes have been, a person who jumps at chances.

I want to suck the juice out of life and savor its sweetness, like Keats with his nectarine:

"Talking of Pleasure, this moment I was writing with one hand, and with the other holding to my Mouth a Nectarine -- good God how fine. It went down all pulpy, slushy, oozy, all its delicious embonpoint melted down my throat like a large, beatified Strawberry."

(quoted by Anne Fadiman in Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader, p. 97)

Comment Spam

Comment spam?? I'm too little a blog for comment spam!

But apparently the comment-spammers don't think so, so I'm turning on word verification. To leave a comment, you'll have to type a funny-looking word to verify that you're a human and not a spambot.

Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope it translates to a blog that is more enjoyable, not less so, overall.

.... and giving

I'm immensely thankful for the budget I recently put together: I gave myself a weekly food-and-fun allowance, and a weekly charity allowance. The charity allowance, in particular, has made it possible for me to give money, almost instantly, when I see a need, instead of having to weigh it against what I want or what I need. I'm lucky that, even though I tend to feel cash-strapped, I'm really very lucky in that I have enough money to do this.

Whatever your situation, you can always click daily at The Hunger Site.

As for monetary donations, I'm spreading my money around -- smart investing or indecisiveness, take your pick. My three favorite charities of the moment:

Everyone's favorite, the Red Cross.

Catholic Charities USA (not least because I'm Catholic myself).

The Southern Mutual Help Association -- I just learned of them today, via I-forget-which-blogger, but I really like their mission statement.

I've also given money, in the past, to Mercy Corps -- an especially good place to go (imho) for giving international aid. I've heard good things about America's Second Harvest, but haven't yet given them any money, not least because I can contribute to their efforts (and also Mercy Corps's) for free via The Hunger Site.

Talking

On most issues, I'm somewhere between a moderate and a tolerant (libertarian?) conservative. I think consenting adults should be able to have whatever relationships they want with each other, as long as everyone understands what's going on. I believe very firmly in freedom of opinion and religion, although I'm very much against people hurting one another. On the other hand, I can't imagine raising my own personal children without the structure of marriage and some kind of religion.

On the Katrina disaster, apparently, I'm a flaming liberal -- at least compared to, say, my mother. She's furious that New Orleans residents expect the federal government to help them. She blames it on state and municipal lack of planning. She's angriest of all about insinuations that race and class matter in this disaster and its aftermath. When a "resident" of the convention center was shown on the news explaining that the floors were running with urine [because the toilets are overflowing, though they clipped that part out], her response was something like "And who do you think it was that peed there?"

I know there's not much point getting into an argument with her over this -- for any number of reasons, down to plain old habit, I'm unlikely to win an argument, and it's not all that clear that I'd be happier if I did win. Still, from time to time I can't help talking back. I did ask how the hell she thinks "turning Iraq into a parking lot" is going to help with this (she's right, I guess, that it would give us an unarguable reason to bring the troops home, and then they could impose martial law). I brought up the example that all the bloggers know about, wherein white people "find" and black people "loot" -- but I conceded, I hope obviously enough, that that example is about the effect of race on the reporting, not necessarily the conditions on the ground.

And I do agree with her in a lot of subtle ways. The people in New Orleans are absolutely right that, if the federal government doesn't help them, a lot of them are going to die; but it might be true that this should really be someone else's job (not least because, obviously, the federal government can't help them, not all of them). Holding a "mandatory" evacuation based on people's own ability to get themselves out, when these people don't have cars or even money for bus fare (and, anyway, the Greyhound stations closed on Saturday is completely stupid -- but this seems to me to be a total failure of compassion for the poor, not overt racism.

I still need work on this. I feel guilty about swearing at my mother, not least becasue I'm trying to stop swearing in general. I'm always hurt and angry that my mother gets so angry and abrasive about things, especially when I don't agree. But I'm proud of myself, overall, for standing up for myself, showing her that I have an opinion, while at the same time making a good-faith effort to preserve family peace. My parents are good people, and have always taken good care of our family, and that's more important in then end than any of our opinions about our remodeling or the hurricane or anything.

But I miss Boyfriend, who thinks like I do and is, as he says, of "a peaceable people." Who's happy to discuss without arguing. Who shares my distaste for stupidity, and yet is generous and kind.

Family health

My grandfather is having heart trouble tonight. My dad, a doctor, has just left for the grandparents' house to (probably) take them to the hospital for surgery.

My parents are concerned, of course, but don't seem too afraid. Still, your good wishes in my grandfather's direction would be much appreciated.

Guest blogging

From my mom:

"You put it in your blogging thing that fomites are stupid. Your mom said so and she's, like, a medical technologist."